Ian's Stuff

Goodbye EPL/Golf/Freddie Flintoff sponsorship, Hello F1 Williams-Toyota sponsorship

2007-11-09T19:43:00.001+08:00

Most of you that read this and are on Facebook will know already, I'm changing jobs!

Still in Singapore, going to Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) in an attempt to further that "career" thing within the banking industry. The new job will hopefully be more business facing, but means there will be less and less chance to be that pure tech geek :-/.

But anywho, I finish up on the 15th of Nov at BarCap and start on the 26th with RBS.

And on a completely tangential note I'm also returning to NZ for a week 7th Dec - 14th :). Won't be in Welly much this time round as the cousin has completed her manadatory 3 years of drinking at the Otago Tertiary Institution of Alcohol Consumption, and I must congratulate her by buying her copious quantities of drink whilst she is wearing a funny hat.

Oh yeah photos...

2007-08-29T10:03:00.000+08:00

The Rome and Croatia photos are up at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/klatchy/

There's a separate set for Rome and Croatia.

Enjoy! and for those of your who are awesome photographers, please also to be commenting on the crapness of the photos ;)

La Città Eterna

2007-08-08T14:09:00.000+08:00

My flight from Dubai to Rome was much better. Possibly because I was more rested, but there was still bugger all leg room. Ok, I'm going to stop ranting about that now.

To my surprise and horror, the navigation video screen displayed Milan as the final destination. Nowhere on my ticket did it mention Milan at all! Anywho, milled about at Milan airport for an hour before getting back on the plane for an hour long flight to Rome.

Found my accomodation without too much hassle, in a quaint little street nestled right next to the railway station (useful for trip to Naples). After freshening up, I decided to go for a random wander, and sort out a few things that cocked up during the flight over (lack of contacts, body wash leaking all over the suitcase, no adaptor for lappy).

No sooner had I set foot back in the square in front of the railway station, I was accosted by two horrible looking gypsy women. One trying to grab and kiss my arm and the other trying to use some crude cardboard apparatus to attempt some sleight of hand on my man bag. I had to forcibly remove them from me and bark obscenities to them in English before they would bugger off. I really didn't want to do that, and they really were amateurs, since they were at it for about a good half a minute without filching anything from my bag!

I faffed around in the Railway station mall, found what I needed (except for the lappy adapter), and walked down a random street, it eventually took me down to Trajan's Forum, YAY!, got a few pics on the SLR but the light was dimming and I didn't take the tripod along. Ducked into a Trattoria and had some lovely pasta, finished up with gelato :)

Waiting for Masty and Bruce now, he txted me about an hour ago, no further word. Might get something to eat.

Ciao for now :P

SIN - DXB

2007-08-07T10:24:00.000+08:00

I regret not flying with Singapore airlines now.

The flight to Dubai was a shocker, packed with first time dud fliers, the guy next to me kept on coughing the whole trip, complete with flying bits of phlegm *shudder*, sounded like he was on his last stretches after contracting bubonic plague.

Question... why do people insist on bringing babies on planes? Their delicate ears aren't ready to handle rapid changes in pressure, and no matter how lovely you think your baby's cries are, a team of babies performing synchronised wailing does not a church choir make. If you can afford to fly, you can afford to leave your baby behind and hire a babysitter. If you're taking your baby to visit relatives... DON'T!, your relatives should come and visit you, otherwise they're cheapskates and you should disown them.

Additionally, there's drastically decreased leg room, it was like a long haul Air Asia flight, only Air Asia is 100 times cheaper. Anyway most of the trip I was too tired to care. Hopefully the flight over to Rome is better.

The airport is also a marked change to the pristine, ordered Changi airport. People sleeping on the floor all over the airport in various states of undress, a few concerning smells in places. But hey, at least I get free wireless and the guy at the information counter reminded me of the Fonz, albeit an Arabic version.

Now if only the airport sold contact lenses.... :-/. Rather than forgetting socks and underwear, this time my supply of contact lenses conveniently decided to run out!

... I should really stop ranting now and get to my gate. :D

First non-impulse electronics purchase in Singapore

2007-07-25T21:39:00.000+08:00

I bought a Canon EOS 400D today ^_^.

Swapped the kit lens for the EF-S 17-85mm f/4-5.6 IS USM.

SGD2000 exactly from Sim Lim Square (next door to my place, Singapore's electronics Mecca).

Got about a week and a half to practice before I unleash Europe on it! Got a week to decide whether or not I need to get the crazy 10-22mm super wide angle lens ;)

Singapore DOES do adequate coffee

2007-06-25T09:59:00.001+08:00

Aging

2007-04-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

So now people should theoretically take me more seriously. Whether this happens or not remains to be seen.

Cosy affair at St. James with a handful of lovely people in Singapore. Wish all you se Kiwi's were here too :(.

A big thanks to all the lovely people I've met over the past year in Singapore, thanks for making my time here so awesome, keeping me entertained and sane outside of work, listening to me when I'm feeling down (or just when I'm drunk), and helping me grow up :D. I'm trying to catch up to y'all, really!! :P

Evidence of drunkeness and aging at:

23rd Birthday

Jeremy Piven... you are GOD!

2007-04-23T13:15:00.000+08:00

Saw Smokin' Aces in the weekend. It pleased me, expected a more cohesive story line, but thats not important, what is important is that one of the most hilarious lines ever had been uttered:

Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Will you tell me what that is?
Hugo Croop: About what?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Look at the collar on that coat... whats that look like, that stain?
Hugo Croop: I dunno... Cinnamon roll?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. The twist? Its my 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. y'got semen, human ejaculate -
[checks watch]
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: - that's been allowed to soak in for what, six, seven hours now? Work it's way into the fabric-f**k'n fibers - and while you may never see it in a Tide commercial, I think it still safely qualifies as a "tough, deep down stain."
Hugo Croop: If you like I send out?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: ...to what? Incinerate? 'Cuz I'm almost dead certain there's not a f**king laundry detergent or dry cleaning process known to man that can ever return that jacket to its former glory! Some sh*t, suffice it to say, just don't wash out. Now, the money question... To whom does that stain belong? C'mon, somebody was banging one of these skanks, sans rubber - -which is terrifying in its own right, pulled out, let 'er rip and ruined the last gift my mother gave me before she died.
[snatching up coat]
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: The way I see it, it's the same as if she was dug up, three months dead and it was shot right on her rotting corpse, 'cuz that's how it defiled this feels!
Hugo Croop: Do you want me to say I did it?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: I was kinda hoping, yeah.
Hugo Croop: Do you want me to say I'm sorry?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Only if you really, truly mean it.
Hugo Croop: Im very sorry,
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Are you a Collasal fuckin idiot?
Hugo Croop: I am idiot.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Get the phone, it's probably Mecklin. Get Fatolli up here and start cleaning all right? and please for me will you do one thing?
[Card trick putting a card on Hugo's forehead]
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Get out of my fucking sight

World famous! Not just in NZ ;)

2007-04-19T19:51:00.000+08:00

Props to Marcel for spotting this little gem on the wild and dangerous interweb. What an awesome video of Shane Bond being awesome. It also happens to have me in it! :D
People had often mentioned they saw me on TV impersonating Warney, I doubted them... but this is proof!! :D

Its about 40 seconds in, or 2:50 to go!

Geezus.... 1 year already, lil bit of reminizzling

2007-04-14T19:47:00.000+08:00

I kinda want to say time flies when you're having fun... Seems not that long ago that Chad and I got sloshed with a whole lot of you and woke up the next day with a huge hangover, and seems like Christmas was just yesterday.

However, one wouldn't REAALLY describe working here FUN, its alright I guess, I do feel rewarded when releases go right, people thank me for making their lives easier, and although I haven't really been coding recently, when I do get to do it, its great!

But then thats all counterbalanced by the bureaucray, heavy handed processes that are totally inappropriate for front office development, retards you have to deal with on an almost daily basis, and the next bit of work is essentially fucking VBA in a fucking spreadsheet, yeh we REAAL cutting edge here.

I guess as long as pay and bonus continue to be good I'll keep at it until Asia no longer holds any more delights for me.

I have still yet to:

Visit other misc Asian countries (Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Phillipines)

Visit India

Do snow related activites in Hokkaido

Get my diving license, despite wanting to do it ever since I got here and almost managing to do it in November last year

Remedy the 20+% body fat situation as described by my trainer late last year

With the recent shake ups in personal life and the realisation that one will probably not sign on in Singapore indefinitely, arse will have to be engaged to ensure the above happens.

Other random musings over the past few days:

Why am I still not used to the 30+ heat and still sweating like a rapist everytime I step outside?

What if the IT industry in Spain is non-existant

Will work transfer me to London if I want to leave Singapore

How will the point above impact the point above the point above?

Will I really want to work in London, do I have a choice given this wanderlust?

Oh, I almost forgot, I think I'm going to Rome/Croatia in August with Masty, Bruce and maybe Chad. Should be a wicked trip if the blimmin travel agent has a clue and gets back to me soon. It doesn't bode well when the conversation with the STA travel agent goes something like this:

Me: "Hi, I'm planning to visit Italy and Croatia for about a week in August and would need some flight and accomodation quotes. I'll need to travel to Rome and then Split and back again to Rome, finally returning to Singapore".
Agent: "Sorry, what was the other location".
Me: "Split, its the second largest city in Croatia"
Agent: "Split, not in Italy!"
Me: "No, its in Croatia, across the Adriatic Sea from Italy"
Agent: "Where is Croatia?"
Me: "*sighs*, it used to be part of a big country called Yugoslavia, in the mid nineties there were lots of wars, lots of people died, it was on the news, you may have heard about it?"
Agent: "Ok, you leave phone number, we will get back to you"
Me: "Errm.. Ok *gives details*".

Still no word to date.

If all is well the trip should more than sate my classical/medieval history geekiness, Rome goes without saying, Split is close to Roman Salona, and Dubrovnik was previously Ragusa - one of the main cities of the Venetians during the middle ages. It should also serve to sate me on the matters of rowdiness, drunkeness and belligerence given I will be with Masty and Bruce and alcohol will form an integral part of this journey.

Muchas muchas cervezas!

2007-03-31T02:20:00.000+08:00

Drinking + Jacuzzi - Womenz

2007-03-23T20:25:00.000+08:00

Bloody Chinese Government

2007-03-23T00:58:00.001+08:00

^^ Taxi to work.

I lost my phone because of the bastards... well at least I have a new 3G capable phone! Go mobile blogging!

Good Vibrations 2007 - Sing Stylez

2007-02-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

I'm not really a big music festival fan, the conjugation of retards, really horrid toilet conditions, huge queues to get booze/food, hit and miss line ups means I'm pretty much a music festival noob.

Anyway, popped my music festival cherry over the Chinese New Year long weekend.

Pros:
1. Wicked Aura Batucada - Singapore based international Brasilian percussion group. They are WICKED! 6:30pm time slot, but had the crowd just as amped as J5 and the Beastie Boys.
2. Jurassic Five - Took them eons to get ready and actually come out (allusions to weed, coke and circle jerking were made whilst waiting), but once they did the crowd just went off, off my nut the whole time!
3. Beastie Boys - Final act for the night, bit of a weird first half of the set though. Quantity of extremely inebriated white men did sully the experience some what bloody body odour and misdirected belligerence.
4. Agrikulture - Contemporary Indonesian Kraftwerk? I was getting a drink during most of their set and so only caught the beginning and end... but I like :)
5. Dubwise and Guerilla crew for providing the dub and drum n bass support, hopefully next year they'll get a big DnB name into Singapore. *fingers crossed*
6. Photo op with the beautiful Denise Keller (German-Singaporean MTV Asia VJ). ^_^

Mehs:
1. Electrico - I'm not a fan of most types of Rock.
2. Cut Copy - I liked their set on FabricLive 29, live.. they were somewhat disappointing.
3. Other acts
4. A sausage fest of expat kids inappropriately shouting MILF at the female vocalist of Cicada without regard to the actual fact of whether she was a mother of not.
5. White male tourists. Thank god none of them were New Zealanders, us Kiwis... we're so well beahved. :)

Regrets:
1. Too Phat - Awesome Malaysian hip hop / RnB guys, they were supposed to come on before J5, but some screw up meant that they went to the other arena with the indie rock (and eventually trance) fags... I will see them before I leave Asia!!

Loltastic photographs below:

Good Vibrations 2007

Oooh yeah! I'm a celebrity!

2007-01-23T00:39:00.000+08:00

Props to Chad for finding this! I knew I was related to famous people! Please line up for autographs kthx!

First I present an equal opportunity collection. Asians, Emperors, Soccer players, Wizards and Lesbians reprazent yo!

Next a more Asian oriented collection, with vampire slaying garnish

Finally, the black edition. I think its purely coincidental that I'm 50% similar to 50 cent.

Tis the season to be jolly, and eat like you're a refugee from Somalia, and get sunburnt!

2007-01-14T21:29:00.000+08:00

I suppose I had better post about my migratory patterns over the Christmas and New Years period. Most of my readers will have been involved in some sort of shenanigans with me, so feel free to NOT read this and save yourself 3-5 minutes of your life so that it maybe better spent downloading illegal software, killing brain cells on YouTube, searching for pornography, or doing something outside to take advantage of this lovely weather that no one in the world seems to be getting ;-)

The season of jolliness actually began a full week before my triumphant return to NZ. Scott (an ex-Synergite mate) passed through Singapore for a week with friend Parmesh and was dragged in to what almost ended up being a week-long piss up with them (definitely NOT complaining guys!). Hilights included consuming giant novelty sized burgers at Brewerks, and giant novelty sized margaritas at Cafe Iguana. I left them to their own devices during the day, and invariably Sentosa, the Zoo and 500 malls were visited.

The flight back was one of the worst I've ever experienced on Singapore Airlines, I got shoved into the back-most row of the plane with no leg or recline room, and decidedly average looking air hostesses (perhaps my standards for them have risen now?). The lads and lass (who joined us half way through the week-long piss up) kept me well entertained at least. Let it be known that this is the first flight where I did not endulge in Super Mario Bros (yes... I even played Super Mario Bros on business class over to Singapore, albeit drunk on champagne! :D).

Parted ways with Scott in Auckland as he was sticking around for a few days for a wedding, found Wellington to be just as I expected, around about 15 degrees :D. What I didn't remember was the severity of the wind as I made my way back into Wellington for Synergy's Christmas shindig, my lightly producted and carefully crafted hair was devastated by the Wellington wind in mere seconds. I just want to say here, New Zealanders (and Synergites especially) you guys are awesome, despite having left for 8 months, I felt like I hadn't left at all, and thanks heaps for inviting me back!

In the next few days I undid the month and a half of hard gymming in Singapore, 2 BBQs, numerous lunches and coffees :S. It was so worth it though :) and great fun catching up with everyone, the week climaxed with the Twenty20 International between NZ and Sri Lanka where I proudly donned the green and gold impersonating that loveable rascal Shane Warne once more (with a cut blonde wig this time). By chance, the larrakins sitting next to us happened to have smuggled in a giant inflatable phallus, I couldn't let this opportunity slip and neither could they (http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=175300 for those not in the know), unfortunately the hawk-eyed and rather grotesque looking security guard confiscated the phallus before any incriminating photographic evidence could be procured. The Duckworth-Lewis system affected play and Sri Lanka was declared winner much to our chagrin, the chagrin was remedied later on that night with 2 bottles of Veuve Cliquot and numerous ridiculously cheap cocktails (compared to Singapore), which reminds me... I have to get the recipe for the Dirty Clint at Ponderosa again, anyone back home wanna help me out?

NZ vs. SL Twenty20 and After Match Drinks

Was good to spend a few days with the extended family over Christmas, big ups to the family for all the cooking. Despite being surrounded by Chinese food, nothing here in Singapore quite captures the flavours and subtlties of cuisine from my home town (Xi'an). This of course did not help the burgeoning waistline issue, but they're forgiven :D.

New Years was spent camping on a wicked little secluded bay (Anaura Bay) about an hour's drive north of Gisborne. I'd never been camping before and this was certainly one of the best experiences in my life, and something I'd like to do properly again. I was spared of much of the set up hassles as Jess and Nathan kindly offered a portion of the main tent (the marae) to me. The emptying of the chemical toilets, while not a very envious job provided a few hilarious moments as I got urine and possibly fecal matter over my hands and feet in the dark :O... not to worry though, our campsite was right by the beach and a quick swim remedied that problem quite successfully... poor fishies... ;). I'm also fairly dark now as an added bonus of catching some rays on the beach, still peeling in some areas though :(. Oh yeah, chur for the Darren on NY's, you know who you are ;)

New Years 2007

Three weeks just wasn't enough :(, I'm keen to head back later in the year, but I've got to find a better excuse than Crate Day :D.

I'm still alive... kinda.

2006-11-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

To all my faithful (har har.. yeah right) readers. Apologies for the dearth of relevant postings, or really any postings in the last few months. Things have ambled along fine with:

A visit from Marcel who came bearing 300 centi-litres of fine Ypioca brand Cachaça, thats a whopping 200 centi-litres more than "allowed". This man has a future in smuggling! The Cachaça remaining now is probably just over 200 centi-litres, for shame, I need to drink more!
Moving on to a new project, am on the same team with Chad once again and finally doing some long awaited development work!
My first cross-dressing experience, in a damn sexy yellow skirt, which also led me to my finest haggling experience! (down from $20 to $5!).
Have unfortunately succumbed to the plague (also known as flu of the non bird kind) in Singapore after a record year long stint without illness, damn food technicians coughing over my fried rice!

Thats it for now, most of you will get to see me in person in less than a month's time. I am forecasting feasts, drunkeness and lunging aplenty during my hopefully triumphant return!

Photographic evidence of aforementioned cross-dressing and seksy skirt as follows:

Monopoly @ Sussan's

Why Cricket Sucks in 2006 (In Malaysia)

2006-09-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

So I spent RM202 on the tickets, SGD47 on the bus ride there, RM107.5 for one night's accomodation, and RM35 for the return tickets to learn why cricket sucks in 2006 in Malaysia. I've vowed to never go to another cricket game in the Asian tropics, you're too worried about keeping cool in the 35 degree heat to cheer for your team!

The ground was substandard, the food was poor, 400% markup on water, it was so hot that I didn't even want to drink alcohol. To top it all off, Katich faced 30 deliveries to get past single figures and Morton bested that effort in the Windies innings by scoring the world's slowest duck (0 from facing 31 deliveries)!

The only good thing about the whole trip was drinking and hookah (no, thats not hooker, or lady boys) with Neal the night before, and then catching up with Rob the irishman.

For those that don't know I'm returing to NZ during mid-December -> early January. Boxing day 20/20 at the cake tin should be a winner! I miss cricket in NZ, the atmosphere, my blonde hair, telling Brett Lee that he's a wanker, Jared's incompetency with gin and water, my fellow SWIS members, hotties. :'(

And finally, Jared this is all the sentimentality that you'll get out of me on the interweb. I can't have everyone know about my true feelings for you. You should be happy though, its still more sentimentality than anyone else has received, despite your formative years in that east coast backwater :P

DLF Cup

Sep 22, 2006 - 16 Photos

A day at the golf

2006-09-10T12:39:00.000+08:00

So over the weekend they had some people that like to play with balls and holes over in Singapore. Lucky for us the event was sponsored by Barclays since we have waay too much money. So on a hot sunny Singapore Saturday a few of us set out to watch the most boring and ridiculous game in the world as we had nothing else to do.

The journey to Sentosa was plagued with misdirection, construction and miscommuniction, the group consensus was that we'd never actually make it there. A few piccies below, see if you can spot any famous golfers :)

Barclay's Open

Sep 9, 2006 - 32 Photos

I've decided that I'm immature

2006-08-27T13:47:00.000+08:00

Despite all my pretenses at being 22 and all grown up, on Saturday, Hollywood had invariably stripped me bare and exposed me for the immature 16 year old I really am :)

Yes, its Muthafuckin' Snakes on a Muthafuckin' Plane! Before the movie, I thought I was going to dread watching almost 2 hrs of snakes in various poses ready to prey on their unsuspecting human prey. However, I discovered that there is no way I can stop myself from giggling at snakes attacking and attaching themselves to mammaries, phalluses, posteriors, small children, dogs and annoying pompous brits ON A PLANE!

A++ will watch again :D

International Cricket in Malaysia! :(

2006-08-18T13:21:00.000+08:00

Double dose of bad news :(, the Black Caps aren't playing in the tri-series, and all the games have been moved to KL!

Surely they can't have better grounds in Malaysia? The professional cricket players in both countries are close to zero :D, and Singapore has much better infrastucture and services!

Ah well, it still looks like that I'm heading to KL for the final between Australia and India (yep, I'm that sure about the outcome) with Chad and an Aussie from work. The Warney shirt should be on its way from NZ in the next few days (thanks Masty, you're a champ). I s'pose I should find out where to get tickets now...

To random cricket fans in S.E. Asia that read this blog, http://www.axcess.com.my/index2.asp is supposedly where you get the tickets. They aren't available on the interweb yet, you'll probably have to call.

Retards

2006-08-06T15:28:00.000+08:00

Karma strikes Ian in the behind again. After laughing at the misfortune of Marcel a few posts back about his inability to see DJ Shadow play in Wellington. I myself also did not have the fortune of seeing DJ Shadow live in Singapore. :(

Why the hell weren't any of the tickets sold before hand? Why weren't they jacked up to a premium price? Every man and his dog is going to go if you keep it at $30 with 2 free drinks.

Did the heat drain the logic and rationality from the organizer's heads? Or more likely they probably just didn't give a shit and wanted to cram as many people in as possible.

Is it really all about the bottom line here? Retards...

Yes, I agree I could've got there at 8 just to get in, but then if they had presales problem solved!

Tards

International Cricket in Singapore!

2006-08-02T11:05:00.000+08:00

http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/westindies/content/story/255109.html
YUSS! Apparently there's a Tri-Series played here and in KL in September. Currently involving India, Australia and the West Indies. There is doubt at whether the West Indies will be able to play given that they haven't consulted their players yet. Sri Lanka and New Zealand are on stand-by if the Windies can't sort their shit out.

Hopefully the Windies stay home and I can catch the Black Caps here! Regardless, it'll still be the sporting event of the year!

First three games in Singapore and last four games in KL. It's gonna be a grand time, chopping back beers, hurling abuse at Australians, general larrakinism under the sun. I'm definitely taking time off work for this!

My only regret is that the Warney shirt is in NZ and I have now lost all traces of my blondness... sad times.

Malaysia... yet again!

2006-07-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

I think I'm getting OCD!, but hey the country is close, not a complete dump, and some places are genuinely lovely.

Due to the advent of Miss Hart's visit to Singapore, the Chad, Miss Hart and I enjoyed a lovely weekend in Sarawak, with a brief interlude of a few hours in uninspiring Johor Bahru spent transiting and waiting in traffic jams (please don't flame me JB residents) .

I learnt that Asian budget airlines were not designed with Asians like me in mind, there was bugger all leg room, the other two had a better time of it all, being distinctly more Asian in stature than I :D.

I like Kuching, its fairly compact (at least the interesting bits are), we spent Saturday wandering around Kuching visiting museums, doing all the touristy things and terrorising the locals with enthusiastic Asian-ness (the hand thing in photos) and having Chad either thrust at me, or at attractions in the manner of Hard Gay (HAADO GEIIII.. FUUUU!!!). Note however that "Hard Gay in Kuching" was not any of us. We're not that crazy.

With all the crazy silly touristness out of us by Sunday we proceeded to check out Kubah National Park, lotsa nice jungly nature things, and you get rewarded with a dip in a small pool created by the waterfall at the end of the trek. What I found interesting was that you can actually drink from the waterfall in Sarawak, its New Zealand and its crazy farming that causes all its rivers and streams to be rife with Giardia and Chryptosporidium (according to Chad... he seemed to know what he was talking about... and I haven't got the runs... yet).

Photos this time are courtesy of the Chad and Miss Hart. They went on to Tioman, so expect them in a few days time. (YAYZ they are up http://picasaweb.google.com/klatchy/Sarawak and http://picasaweb.google.com/voiceinsideyou/KuchingPulauTiomanMalaysia/)

I think I might try and tackle Mount Kinabalu next, probably have to start exercising and shed a few kilos first ;)

A Special Post just for Marcel!

2006-07-20T10:30:00.000+08:00

I hear that due to a mix up in the tour dates, Wellington has been completely left off the DJ Shadow tour :P. Shadow's tour dates confirm this, can you confirm this Mr. Cordes?

Did you journey up to Auckland like a die hard fan? If so I am very impressed.

We get him in Singapore on Aug 5, my minions have reported that he was "O for Awesome" when he played in Auckland ;).

I might give you a call on Aug 5 once he comes on, just so you don't feel like you're missing out :P.

Incidentally, any +65ers reading this blog goin' to DJ Shadow?

Malaysia... again :P

2006-07-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

Mum has just left after a weeklong holiday here, to make sure she didn't get too bored I took her around Malaysia, KL again, then up to Bukit Fraser (Fraser's Hill) for some good old fashion NZ trekking, and finally a couple of days in Tioman.

Photos are up at http://picasaweb.google.com/klatchy

The interweb distresses me

2006-07-02T14:20:00.000+08:00

So I got myself a google analytics account after having read about it on Kim's Blog, pretty easy to set up and I've left it to gather stats on visitors to this blog over the last week.

One of the reports it provides is based on what key words people use on search engines to get to your site. These were the search queries:

"lake karakul religion" (Google)
"stuff racoon" (Google)
" ian ren" (Google)
"free photos of asian women wet & messy looks" (Yahoo)

Googling the first three queries all resulted in my blog being the first or second results. As expected when I Yahoo'd the last query I got a whole bunch of porn sites

It probably says more about Yahoo's crazy search algorithms than anything else...

In other news, Google Web Albums is great! Much more intuitive than hello, and you can actually do batch uploads properly, unlike bebo and flickr. The free account only gives you 250MB though :(

Kuala Lumpur - Sin City

2006-06-22T20:38:00.000+08:00

A few weeks back we decided to visit our dear Irish friend Rob in KL, oh what a trip! Drunkeness, near death experiences, tall buildings, 50 year old women pimping out young men that look like women, street fights, dodgy taxi driver pimps... oh and 5 star luxury :D

The trip started out harmlessly enough with the arduous task of getting a cab in Singapore in the rain, luck fortunately was with us this time and we didn't miss our luxury double decker bus to KL. (Exhibit A below)

Exhibit A

Outta Singapore in a flash, and across the border to the outskirts of Johor Bahru(JB), our bus took the new crossing and we weren't stuck in a throng of people. We were on our way soon again after immigration.

We were greeted by the distant sights of the Petronas Towers around about 3 in the afternoon, and it took another half an hour for the bus to finally drop us off. To our excitement our hotel was just across the road, then... to our dismay we learned that the road was virtually uncrossable, high speed traffic, scooters and motorbikes that were bent on killing you, I had the additional burden of having Catherine Zeta Jones with me, so that added another 5 minutes onto the crossing at least. 5 near misses with motorbikes later, I was across the road and in the hotel.

Biker Gang ^_^ similar to what we faced getting across the road

It was ridiculous, for only 215 Malaysian Ringgits per night (less than $SGD100/$NZD100) you get 5 star treatment, admittedly we weren't staying in the presidential suite... or even the club level, but hey allow this bumpkin some excitement over his first stay in a luxury hotel. Oh, and this was the view from our room :P

GO PETRONAS TWIN TOWERS!!!111

We went on a wander, our original destination was to go down Jalan Sultan Ismail (which we later found out was perpendicular to our street), except due to Chad's inquisitveness and unique sense of direction we ended up on the opposite side of the city... :) We ended our misguided tour about 3 hours later having explore much more of the city than we'd anticipated (although we'd still not gone down Jalan Sultan Ismail). I was happy though, and my emotions are perfectly captured by the following photo:

The night ended outside Zouk (yay they have one in KL!!) watching the Germany vs. Costa Rica game and imbibing some cheap beer for a change. I had free flutter courtesy of the bar, but didn't manage to get any free drinks :(.

The next morning, we were sorely disappointed by the Petronas Towers, free entry to the Petronas Towers dictated that we would not be going up the towers, most people line up for tickets at 8 in the morning, I was still contemplating whether to get out of bed at 11:30.

All was not lost, as we ventured on to Menara KL (KL Tower, a broadcast tower thingamee)
, the view is much better and they have a lame culture show at the bottom :P. Snapped a few pics, and Chad tried to get some dodgy perspective shots in.

Met up with Rob at about 7 in the evening, and the night of debauchery began..., having been subject to harsh Singaporean liqour taxes for the past two months, it was time to loosen the purse strings (no I don't actually have a purse :P) and indulge in some good old fashioned NZ styled binge drinking!! After picking up some of Rob's friends we made our way to Passion nice wanky little club in the middle of KL's party area (JP Ramlee), massive main room playing RnB and party hip hop and the top floor / mezzanine playing prog. Great club, nice setting and we got very very drunk, drunk enough to lose two hot Swedish girls that Rob's friend found earlier in the night :'(.

Abruptly, things ended at 4, we were ushered out of passion and onto the streets. Soon a street fight involved when I witnessed the Fastest Indian In the World! Some Indian fella got in a fight with a bunch of people, was soon outnumbered, had a few punches landed on him and then promptly ran for his life. Scary? YES! Amusing? Also Yes :), I'm such a bastard.

Karma came and kicked me on the arse soon after for laughing at other's misfortunes when I was accosted by a ladyboy, I'd mistakenly made eye contact in my drunken state with someone who I thought was an incredibly beautiful GIRL, as she/he walked close, I realised that he/she was much taller than me and had certain manly features, I smiled sheepishly, broke off eye contact and walked away as fast as I could. I was drunk... but I wasn't THAAT drunk!!
A few hundred metres down the road, an old lady (must've been 50+) tried pimping out another ladyboy to me! Grabbed me on the arm and even resorting to speaking Mandarin with me to get me to spend what she described as a night of bliss with this um... person! :O

Somewhat sober now by the previous sobering experience, I got her to remove her hands and contemplated on telling her I was gay, then decided that it may have potentially worse repercussions, I made some excuses and began running back to the hotel. O Karma, I will never laugh at another's misfortune again!

As expected, Sunday was totally written off, visited Rob's palatial residence in the evening, and back to the hotel for some much needed rest.

Finally did some more sightseeing further afield at the Batu Caves on Monday, numerous Macaques and Hindu sculptures provided an afternoon of entertainment. Back on the bus by 6:00pm, safe and sound in Singapore away from all the scary encounters by midnight monday. Its good to be home :D

Settling down

2006-06-02T19:09:00.000+08:00

Well... no exciting excursions to report, but I am getting back into some of my old habits.

Finally found a place to learn Spanish again, stumbled across this school www.laslilasschool.com on the interweb one day. I enquired, applied, sat and exam and got in :), the best part of it all is that the school's across the road from my condo! To top it off my broken Spanish and incorrect verbs got me exempt from the beginners classes and some of the elementary ones! Go ME!! Makes me feel so much better after failing my Finance Exam.

Will be likely to take up Salsa lessons again, checking out this place with about 15 others from work tomorrow. If the instructors aren't incompetent, and they have constant air con, I guess I'll be signing up.

Still have to get a credit card... hopefully I won't get rejected again. I'll be so friggin angry if they still reject me :-/, me bomb and bank comes to mind :P (I'll probably get sent to jail for this comment ^_^).

And finally.. Malaysia next week... maybe... probably... if I get tickets and places sorted. I've booked leave already :O.

Small Asian boy found near Merapi

2006-05-22T19:14:00.000+08:00

Nah, I didn't actually go and see the volcano, but I did goto Indonesia over the weekend.

Pulau Bintan is great!

We hurriedly left work on Friday so that I could get home and pack as much useless stuff into Catherine Zeta Jones (watch The Terminal if you have no idea what I'm ranting on about), hopped onto the MRT and hoped like hell we would make the ferry across to Bintan. After much queue waiting and general cussing we got through customs and onto the ferry with about 15 minutes to spare.

After about an hour on the choppy waves between Singapore and Indonesia, we reached Bintan, was pretty dark already so much of the scenery en route was lost to us. The first order of business was to find food and beverages, we lingered on beverages until midnight, then decided that a romantic moonlit walk on the beach was in order :P, the romantic atmosphere was dashed however as Chad had the tendency to stub his toes one every twenty seconds.

I attempted windsurfing the next day, it was a dismal failure... not really due to my incompetence, more so the lack of wind... in any direction. But hey, at least i know how to position myself and balance myself for less than 5 seconds on the board :D... I'm keen to go back and have another crack at it though...

Final day was good despite the set backs the weather provided. We had intended on this five hr trek, however due to the incredibly risk averse nature of the Singaporeans that ran the operation, they deem the conditions too wet and thus too dangerous... like WTF wet and dangerous is when Kiwis go tramping. We substituted the trekking with a few hours of snorkeling, which I was competent at for a change :), mucho tropical fishies and coral to look at, would've continued for longer if my feet didn't get so tired from kicking.

After lunch we decided to give the upper body a bit of a workout, hired an ocean kayak and generally kayaked around the bay, we got quite a ways away from the shore and both decided it was a good idea to leave the kayak and go for a swim... getting back on was quite difficult :D.

I don't have any photos alas, Chad was the photographer of the trip since I stupidly forgot to charge my camera before the trip :-/... next time eh?

Child molesting snake

2006-05-14T19:30:00.000+08:00

The snake looks so dodgy in this pic.

An interesting specimen

2006-05-14T19:28:00.000+08:00

Some white people we saw at the zoo... LOLZ

Racoon?

2006-05-14T19:24:00.000+08:00

I think its a racoon..., I'm useless at zoos not reading any of the information signs.

Chad turns Asian

2006-05-14T19:23:00.000+08:00

Yeah... sorry guys, he's now asian. Excitable and posing with that bloody hand thing.

Singapore Zoo

2006-05-14T19:17:00.000+08:00

Some little critters we found at the Singapore zoo. One of the more active animals, compared to the Polar Bear they had, yes... thats right, a polar bear at the equator!!

boring and slightly messy lounge

2006-05-14T19:14:00.000+08:00

View #2

2006-05-14T19:12:00.000+08:00

And now... the other half of the pool, plus the twin jacuzzis, and interesting bits of foliage dotted here and there.

View #1

2006-05-14T19:10:00.000+08:00

Here is the view from my bedroom window, half of the pool and all of the tennis court. Tennis racquet is on the list of things to purchase.

OK... so its been a month

2006-05-12T00:49:00.000+08:00

Since my last post. I apologise for my general uselessness, but hey, its not like anyone reads this :P, and I've always said that I'd only put photos up here (which hasn't happened either).

Anyway...

During the last month, I have:

* Been sweaty every morning as I walk to work.
* Been getting to work earlier than in NZ, and going home later.
* Jaywalked!!!
* Purchased a new laptop :D
* Found a swanky apartment (sorry... condo)
* Applied and got denied for a credit card, I don't know why, I thought I was supposed to be one of these "rich expat types".
* Began speaking mandarin to the locals.
* Cooked twice :D

Loving the fact that:
* I feel tall (so does Chad... strangely)
* Food is cheap
* Am living like a rich capitalist :D
* Spending less due to lack of drinking
* There are DnB gigs here!!
* Most beers come in crate bottles

Angry about:
* Lack of boozing culture here (I miss getting on the piss with you all!!).
* Retarded banks declining my credit card applications.
* Retarded banks not accepting each other's cards (Its like NZ in the mid 90s!!).
* Retarded merchants only accepting cash.
* Retarded pedestrians that get in your way.
* People that don't understand me even when I speak Mandarin :(.
* Overpolitness of the general populace :-/

Work has been OK, I'm less stressed than Chad, but then again he does actual development, I'm just doing support for now :-/, hopefully we should be getting some development work in the next couple of months. The people in the team are pretty cool, and we're probably the loudest team in the entire floor.

Now that I'm settled, I'll prosbably utilise my weekends better and actually run around S.E Asia a fair bit more. In the next couple of weeks, a trip is planned to Pulau Bintan with Chad, its an Indonesian island thats not too far from Singapore, kinda wanky and touristy, but its a start. Malaysia and Vietnam are on the list as well, especially since Chandima couldn't stop talking about it after he visited.

Probably thinking of taking up diving as well, my team lead showed me some amazing pics of a dive she went on recently, so many Nemos floating around Malaysia!!!

Otherwise just business as usual, watch out for a photo blog in the weekend where I will showcase my wanky surrounds :)

Sing Day 2

2006-04-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

I managed to do a surprising number of things today, firstly with Chad incapacitated due to heavy drinking the night before, I was forced to take matters into my own hands and decide on what sights to see today. Reception provided me with a tourists map of Singapore and my eyes quickly found the Singapore Cricket Club :)

Backpack, map and camera in tow I began trekking in the general direction, I found the place after 10 sweaty minutes, proceeded to sit down and watch 4 or 5 overs of cricket ^_^!! Unfortunately the level of talent wasn't that great, the heat and boredom forced me to leave after about half an hour.

Raffles' landing site wasn't too far away from the SCC, I decided to head there, only to find out upon arrival that I'd already seen it 5 years ago :-/, I was by the river and decided that Chinatown on the other side would be quite interesting, the main streets were fairly boring, but the back alleys were awesome! Each building has like at least 7 air con units hanging out the back, the alley's were narrow, rubbish was overflowing, the air was so nauseatingly pungent that I actually thought I was smelling durian fruits :D

After returning to the hotel, Chad had woken up and nursed his hangover, we proceeded to head to an IT mall and purchased the Sony VAIO that I'm typing on now :). The best buy of the day however was at dinner, I got a crate bottle of Tiger for S$4.50 at a food court ^_^!! That place is on the itinerary if any of your come and visit me in Sing!

I'm in Singapore lah!

2006-04-08T19:24:00.000+08:00

I'm here! It's bloody hot and humid!

Business class was actually really underwhelming, apart from nice free booze and better food it wasn't really that exciting :-/. Got through 3 movies, and stayed away from Super Mario Bros the whole time :)

Got through customs with minimal hassles, the pornogami book is still with me ^_^!!

Had the obligatory Singapore Sling at the Long Bar, was expecting some one to mix it up on the spot, but they had it mass produced and just poured it from a jug :O, it wasn't that nice to boot either :P

2006-03-26T10:52:00.000+08:00

i wish she'd come to singapore with me :D

2006-03-26T10:51:00.002+08:00

do i really look that frightening side on craig?

2006-03-26T10:51:00.001+08:00

i'm so not interested in the photo being taken here, i think i might be focussing on zara's chest :P

2006-03-26T10:51:00.000+08:00

craig and zara

2006-03-26T10:50:00.001+08:00

i accessorise with laura's help

2006-03-26T10:50:00.000+08:00

mmm cleavage

2006-03-26T10:49:00.001+08:00

marcel's crotch, thanks dude i'll need this for those lonely nights in singapore

2006-03-26T10:49:00.000+08:00

try and show some interest andrey... we're not that boring are we? :P

2006-03-26T10:48:00.002+08:00

andrey also works as a male underwear model and has had enough photographs for the day

2006-03-26T10:48:00.001+08:00

amish trying to go for the same look as marcel

2006-03-26T10:48:00.000+08:00

quintessentially m. cordes

2006-03-26T10:47:00.002+08:00

why is this man in soo many photos!

2006-03-26T10:47:00.001+08:00

an interesting specimen... the back of amish's head

2006-03-26T10:47:00.000+08:00

what nick looks like when i'm on drugs

2006-03-26T10:46:00.000+08:00

andrey looks like he wants a fight

2006-03-26T10:45:00.001+08:00

jared's hands are the only things that are in focus in this photo

2006-03-26T10:45:00.000+08:00

this is possibly the ONLY unflattering photo of marcel, even then i'd still hit it

2006-03-26T10:44:00.002+08:00

marcel tickling me in a funny way ;)

2006-03-26T10:44:00.001+08:00

that man wants his hoegaarden back

2006-03-26T10:44:00.000+08:00

i'm also in the line to score marcel

2006-03-26T10:43:00.001+08:00

hottest bar tender in the world

2006-03-26T10:43:00.000+08:00

is that a boob or belly button?

2006-03-26T10:42:00.001+08:00

ant's had enough, he gets photographed enough being a men's underwear model

2006-03-26T10:42:00.000+08:00

i really think eion's funky hairstyle is going to catch on

2006-03-26T10:41:00.000+08:00

chad's tawa posse

2006-03-26T10:39:00.001+08:00

amish and condy

2006-03-26T10:39:00.000+08:00

las muchachas de wilson. Why did chad's family get so lucky in the genetic lottery :P

2006-03-26T10:38:00.000+08:00

rach and ..... (i must be drunk by this stage already)

2006-03-26T10:36:00.001+08:00

finally! a good photo of ian and anna

2006-03-26T10:36:00.000+08:00

i'm a bit worried by that huge ball of light getting closer and closer to me

2006-03-26T10:35:00.000+08:00

anna suddenly discovers that i suffer from conjoined hand and face disease

2006-03-26T10:34:00.001+08:00

me trying my best possum in headlights look

2006-03-26T10:34:00.000+08:00

this is what vegas and a microsoft conference does to you

2006-03-26T10:33:00.001+08:00

stickney wants in on the man love

2006-03-26T10:33:00.000+08:00

hopefully we'll still both look this good after pub golf :D

2006-03-26T10:32:00.000+08:00

neither stickney nor me are very good at photos

2006-03-26T10:31:00.000+08:00

they seem extremely happy to see me, maybe i'm naked

2006-03-26T10:30:00.000+08:00

my work posse (Desiree and Laura)and their partners

2006-03-26T10:29:00.001+08:00

rickard is astounded by kathryn's pool playing abilities.

2006-03-26T10:29:00.000+08:00

lady number one in the orderly line next to marcel

2006-03-26T10:28:00.000+08:00

stu's had enough of being at the centre of man love

2006-03-26T10:27:00.000+08:00

trust me to find connotations in something as innocuous as the letter V

2006-03-26T10:24:00.000+08:00

I seriously can't believe that this man is still single. He tall, dark, handsome with abs, plus you'll get to have eskimo babies with him. Ladies please form an orderly line.

2006-03-26T10:23:00.000+08:00

claire and fiona

2006-03-26T10:22:00.000+08:00

the hilarity and depravity continues

2006-03-26T10:21:00.001+08:00

man love corner

2006-03-26T10:21:00.000+08:00

la familia wilson and anna and nic and claire and part of thomas

2006-03-26T10:19:00.001+08:00

the twins make grand entrance, very lovely dresses too ladies

2006-03-26T10:19:00.000+08:00

what a hilarious shirt, note how everyone around chad is laughing

2006-03-26T10:12:00.000+08:00

hey jared, this is a pool cue in my pocket and i'm happy to see you

2006-03-26T10:11:00.000+08:00

man i'm lovin that re-growth

Chappel Hadlee Trophy, AUS vs NZL, Wellington Cake Tin

2005-12-08T17:48:00.000+08:00

Wicked game, good weather, front row seats, 600+ runs scored in total, all for only $34.95 :)

Photos follow after this, unfortunately Picasa/Hello/Blogger's photo ordering has again baffled me.

2005-12-08T17:47:00.000+08:00

marcel begins a new instructional video on "how to suck "lollipops" properly" with tam, step one, open your mouth

2005-12-08T17:42:00.000+08:00

... and the coup de grace... shove that entire "lollipop" into your mouth, preferably with some guy next to you poking his tongue out, and a beautiful lady smiling radiantly.

2005-12-08T17:41:00.000+08:00

then... show some teeth and tongue

2005-12-08T17:39:00.000+08:00

varying degrees of anxiety... from OMG OMG (simon), to HUH whats going on here? (simon's mate), to i'm being photographed by warney YAY!!!! (phil)

2005-12-08T17:37:00.001+08:00

things are starting to get intense... nz might win it

2005-12-08T17:37:00.000+08:00

look at that intense concentration from the crowd... warney's the only chump not paying attention to the game... for shame :(

2005-12-08T17:36:00.000+08:00

ahh alright... i'll 'ave a drink... only cos i feel sorry for you for bringing out the drinks