Saw Smokin' Aces in the weekend. It pleased me, expected a more cohesive story line, but thats not important, what is important is that one of the most hilarious lines ever had been uttered:
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Will you tell me what that is?
Hugo Croop: About what?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Look at the collar on that coat... whats that look like, that stain?
Hugo Croop: I dunno... Cinnamon roll?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. The twist? Its my 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. y'got semen, human ejaculate -
[checks watch]
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: - that's been allowed to soak in for what, six, seven hours now? Work it's way into the fabric-f**k'n fibers - and while you may never see it in a Tide commercial, I think it still safely qualifies as a "tough, deep down stain."
Hugo Croop: If you like I send out?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: ...to what? Incinerate? 'Cuz I'm almost dead certain there's not a f**king laundry detergent or dry cleaning process known to man that can ever return that jacket to its former glory! Some sh*t, suffice it to say, just don't wash out. Now, the money question... To whom does that stain belong? C'mon, somebody was banging one of these skanks, sans rubber - -which is terrifying in its own right, pulled out, let 'er rip and ruined the last gift my mother gave me before she died.
[snatching up coat]
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: The way I see it, it's the same as if she was dug up, three months dead and it was shot right on her rotting corpse, 'cuz that's how it defiled this feels!
Hugo Croop: Do you want me to say I did it?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: I was kinda hoping, yeah.
Hugo Croop: Do you want me to say I'm sorry?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Only if you really, truly mean it.
Hugo Croop: Im very sorry,
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Are you a Collasal fuckin idiot?
Hugo Croop: I am idiot.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Get the phone, it's probably Mecklin. Get Fatolli up here and start cleaning all right? and please for me will you do one thing?
[Card trick putting a card on Hugo's forehead]
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Get out of my fucking sight
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2 comments:
ah me watch the show with kev the other day. i thought the movie was brilliant. love the tremors and the insane karate kid (though i don't understand why he's in the movie). i think jeremy piven is awesome, as usual. i love ari gold in entourage. (:
I saw this movie the other day, that scene was the best
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